just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
