i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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