look no pants
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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