How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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