just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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