he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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