We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
