i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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