Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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