i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
its liver damage thursday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
