You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
