Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
