she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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