Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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