well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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