Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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