She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i out mim tonsoeep
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