I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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