Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
