Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My penis needs a shock collar
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
