walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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