Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
