What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
