If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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