Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
