saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize