ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
