census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
