every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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