Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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