After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
