ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
