your thong is hanging out like whoa
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
