ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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