new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
