is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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