Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
