Little spoons don't ask big questions
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
