no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
