i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
