I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate