We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
