I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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