I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
