their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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