So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
