So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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