there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we're making bets on your personal life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
