guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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