Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she smelled like a LAN party
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
