please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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