just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
