I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
