He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
