I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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