We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
