Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
