I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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