Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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