You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
